dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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