and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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