used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
