belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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