porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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