Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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