the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
