ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
