i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
