I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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