I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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