Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My hand turned me down
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
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