So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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