At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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