You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
