I can text with my tongue
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
you didnt know i had herpes?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked