Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.