so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
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There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
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The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro