One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday