So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is that why you're texting me
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!