My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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