clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
