she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
