fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
