There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
