I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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