So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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