Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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