chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
