people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
