Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
