I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
