you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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