Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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