Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize