Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize