hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
