I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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