hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
