using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
did i just pee glitter
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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