my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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