great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
