we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
