When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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