Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's blow job season.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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