I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
