Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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