(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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