I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
