Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
