with your own penis?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
