I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
