She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
