I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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