I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
