what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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