1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize