Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize