I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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