'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
