it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize